In this article, Hardik touches upon some of the wrong conceptualizations about Involvement, fear of entanglement and choosing detachment.
Relationships
During the lifetime, human builds various set of relationships, The fundamental nature of the relationship is that it satisfies ‘some’ need. The need could be physical, emotional, professional or it could be a social need. However, essentially you build a relationship to satisfy some need that you have.
Many people come to me and say, I don’t build a relationship for any need, I just want to ‘give’ to the world. I ask them – why you want to give? does the person or mass of people ask you to give? Understand it correct, Giving is your need, and it is an equal need as receiving. It’s just that it’s an emotional need. So, you build a relationship, because the person in front is satisfying some of your needs.
If you would believe that, I am adding value to their life, then you would treat the relationship one way.
If you would look at it right, and see it that they are adding a value in your life, you would treat it with a utmost gratitude.
That would be a true giving.
Involvement and Entanglement
People come to me saying, when a relationship starts, in the beginning, it was very involved one and as the days and years pass by and now we pretty much feel detached. so, why does it happen?
In many cases, it satisfies some need in the beginning, and then eventually as you involve and give, you start expecting a similar or some response from the other side. The nature of our mind is such, that the more you stress about it, the more you would entangle with the person or thing. The more you expect, the more you entangle.
Detachment
After putting efforts, some people feel or start choosing to have distance. Many are smart, they chose to work on other people, relationships or make themselves busy with other objects. Few people are very very smart and keep some distance from the very beginning of the relationship, and eventually suffer lacking the juice in the relationship, especially in non-family relationships.
There are so many religions also who promote the detachment and make people believe that it would drive the peace. But tell me your experience of Life, does Life looks for peace or it’s throbbing to be involved?
Essentially, there are two major cases:
- Either Person chose to keep distance and stay detached to have no fear of entanglement.
- Or chose to be involved and work on the relationship, and gets entangled or have fear of entanglement
Both paths are limited in nature and do not yield to a great, lively relation. so, what should I do? Should I reveal the secret?
The problem is that, you have ‘liking’ and ‘disliking’ towards anything and everything in the life.
One can operate and act towards things they ‘like’ or ‘dislike’, and the other life around simply passes by without any action or involvement. Forget about the world, The simplest examples of recent time could be, people attending a marriage function, they chose to stay in a known group, rather meeting with everyone or performing on stage for everyone. Tell me, how many percents of the world you will be able to address with this mindset?
What human need, is an indiscriminate involvement towards everything in life. Try this in life, and keep gratitude towards relationships, the relationship would be of a completely different nature. It would be more of coming together and sharing, and creating something wonderful.
Love & Grace,
