In this article, Hardik unveils various misconceptions that exist around the word ‘Love’, and how understanding it the right way by not manipulating with other concepts helps.
Existence of Love
Love is a human emotion. The very way Love exists is because emotions are the key aspects of being human. If not Love, it could be Anger, Anxiety, Hate, but all these are emotions.
All Emotions are essentially Limited in nature, the same is true with Love. The way people are talking about Love today, it is a body-based relationship, or at max, it would be Love towards near/dear or things you Like. If you Love everyone than it’s ‘compassion’, not ‘Love’.
Cycle of Love
A Couple and relationship may be at different stages, but essentially below are the general steps the way it grows.
- Two people get engaged (Either it could be a hormonal trigger or willing participation, but essentially it happens)
- For some time, something is achieved
- Two people get together and start sharing — Best Time
- As it gets mature, Innovations happen to reach Love to Peak experience than before. ( today a rose exchange, then tomorrow chocolate, then a gift, travel… but it goes on.)
- Human personality gets built based on how much time he/she spends on the activity during the day. For eg. if you spend your time for a girl, you would be a lover boy. If you spend time in science, a scientist. If you spend time on business, then become a businessman… likewise.
- So, Either because of GOAL or because of SURVIVAL, one or both starts to spend time in other areas.
- As time goes on, there are two most common factors changes the nature of Love:
- One or both – in seek of GOAL or SURVIVAL limits the amount of time spent in a day, which may not be enough for another person
- The peak of Innovation is achieved, and what one does may not be enough for another person
- In this context, as the nature of Loving relationship changes, it requires adaption and one of two paths happens:
- ‘Sharing mode’ gets converted to ‘Expectation mode’ (for one or both).
- Expectations don’t get satisfied, and ‘Love to Hate’ transition happens
- ‘Sharing mode’ continues without the need for ANY ‘Expectation’.
- ‘Sharing mode’ gets converted to ‘Expectation mode’ (for one or both).
Expectations, Expectations, Expectations…
As soon as you say ‘I love you’ or do something in a relationship, expecting something in return is unavoidable being Human.
Love is a peak of Sweetness. Love stays as far as there’s no expectation in return – not now, nor anytime in the future. Fix this one thing.
Human relations are variable in nature. As time changes, human changes, expectations change, and it requires constant efforts ‘not to keep it in expectation mode’, and continue being in ‘sharing mode’.
Variable Nature
No matter what you do, managing a relation, and Love is a constant effort. Ask a married person, it requires a constant juggling and managing as the nature of changes. Many people chose another path, who doesn’t want to put these efforts. So, after satisfying initial needs where motivations and emotions play a role, for anything long-term commitment is to go.
The Solution
Always remember you have entered the relationship to fulfill your needs. They may have entered the relationship for their needs, but that is not your business. Your business is to understand that they are valuable to your life.
They are adding value to who you are. When you are aware of that, you will manage the relationship in one way. If you think you are of great value to someone, you will manage the relationship in another way, which may not allow it to last long.
For the ones who choses a path to manage the Love –
You may not have full control over expectations or the variable nature of another person. It is the very way humans and relationships are.
So, what you can do is…
- No Expectations (any time)
- Understand the need of another person, and Stay Sharing from your side
- See Love right, it is an ‘Emotion’. Maintain your sweetness to be able to share.
For the ones who got Rejected –
- Don’t do fooling things in hot emotions, by reacting or doing ugly things, that you may regret later.
- It is a very good thing. Better to know early than later. When you are dying, no matter how close you are, that person is not going to join you anyway, even if you say Let’s go. 🙂
- Understand, you are complete Life, the rest is accessories of Life. Human is all about coming together and sharing, not extracting.
- Understand the Entanglement right to work towards it, if any.
- Chose what you want to do with this Life (body, mind, emotions, and energy).
What is Love?
Love is an emotion. It is the very way you are.
- Having the best body, you intend to keep it healthy.
- Having the best mind, you intend to keep it sharp.
- Similarly, Love is the best emotion. It is best to keep it sweet.
No matter what external situations does to you, If you know how to keep your emotions sweet, and sharing without expecting is the way you are, Love is your nature and constant state. Stay Committed to it.
Love and Grace,
